I didn’t always have anxiety or panic attacks. A tumultuous childhood could have played into it, but I was pretty well adjusted until it hit in my early teens, debilitating at times, but then seemed to disappear in my late teens and early twenties. I had my children, and then it came back. In my late twenties and thirties, it grew into a monster, and I didn’t have the skills to know how to reel it back in. I became someone I didn’t recognize and sometimes felt so out of control over my emotions and my life.
I’ve often thought about how ridiculous it must appear to others looking in, not understanding the adrenaline flooding my body, making me nauseated and shaky, exhausted in the aftermath. Sometimes I can’t even determine what set it off.
Countless special occasions, memories that were important not only to myself, but to my family. It often felt like I was failing them.
Maybe I’ve found the solution. CBD oil has so many studies behind it, how beneficial it is for anxiety sufferers. I’m hoping this is the golden ticket. I ordered a vape and CBD oil. As an ex-smoker, the thought of vaping makes me feel embarrassed, like I should hide it. My husband was worried, too, until I explained that it is non habit forming, and that there is no THC or nicotine in it. I’m really praying this will work for me, that the world will open up for me and that my kids will have the mum they deserved to have all along.